M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
