just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
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so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
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You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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