i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Are my feet made of real feet?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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