Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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