Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
