All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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