your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Randomize
