and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
