girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
