Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
