highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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