Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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