But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
