Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
