its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
