do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This baby is an asshole
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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