Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
