Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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