My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize