Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
