There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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