It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize