I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize