I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
