I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
