Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
