new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
