so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize