his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
