The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
