so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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