Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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