the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
