Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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