That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
