im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
