I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet