He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
