I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
