office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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