we have pet lesbian snakes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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