my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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