hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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