margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
