I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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