that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
there is puke in my bra ... again
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize