Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize