I will die if light touches me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
