I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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