i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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