i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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