We got so high we made milksteak
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize