Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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