so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
