I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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