He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
